Reformation is futile

by Shabana Muhammad

I am a Muslimah and like all other Muslims, I don’t have a brain. Kafirs may think that living without a brain is difficult, but someone called A.T.M.M (Allah the most merciful) has shown us a way of living without a brain.

We do exactly what a Mullah says and the Mullah says exactly what is written in Qura’n. So, we live on this earth following the words of A.T.M.M. We don’t think of our own. We don’t have our own ideas on anything. When Mullahs tell us something we just obey them. Even though I live in India, I hate India the most, just because Mullahs told me to hate India. I do whatever possible to see the destruction of India. Kafirs may think that living in India and trying to destroy India is something like setting fire to one’s own house. But it has been written in Qura’n that this world is divided into two, dar-ul-islam and dar-ul-harb, and that I should always work for destroying darb-ul-harb. That is what the mullahs taught me. I follow that exactly although it means destroying my own country. Kafirs may think that I am foolish, but they think because they have an additional organ in their body, called brain in which the Satan resides. I am fortunate that I am a Muslimah and I don’t have a brain.

When I was a schoolgirl, my classmates used to sing the national song of India “vande mataram” which means ‘I bow before my motherland’ during the school assembly. But I used to keep quite because being a Muslim I should bow only before A.T.M.M and the mullahs (As per my knowledge, Allah and mullah are brothers and a mullah lives exploiting the faith that people have in Allah). Most of my classmates were Kafirs. Though they loved me more than their lives, I hated them. But I acted as if I loved them. One of my Kafir friends had some strange ideas. She always used to tell me that god doesn’t need mosques, churches or temples to live in. Instead of wasting money on mosques, churches and temples, people should spend money on helping each other. According to her, “humanity” is the greatest religion. Being a Muslimah, I consider humanity as the greatest threat to Islam.

My eldest brother became a smuggler at 22 years of age when I was in sixth grade. All other brothers joined him later. Kafirs say that Muslims can be easily made to join in smuggling gangs and terrorist organizations as Muslims can be easily brainwashed. That makes me laugh. A Muslim can be washed, but not brainwashed, as we Muslims are lucky in not having a brain. Kafirs complain that instead of doing some productive works, Muslims either become smugglers or terrorists. What is wrong in being a smuggler or a terrorist? If you have a brain then you will think it is wrong. But if you remove the evil organ called brain from your head, you will understand how noble these professions are.

I got married at a very young age like most of the other Muslim women. Today I am the wife of a proud jihadi and mother of 9 children. I want to give birth to at least 6 more children. Kafirs may laugh at this but they laugh because they have an additional organ called brain. We Muslims have no brains and we will go on producing children like machines till our Muslim army is big enough to defeat the Kafir army.

All of my eight brothers are smugglers and I help them in all possible ways to destroying the economy of my country, India. My husband is a jihadi leader who gets frequent training from Pakistan. His terrorist organization gets all the money from Saudi Arabia and other countries in the Middle East. He often tells me that Saudi Arabia is the father of jihad and Pakistan is the mother, so we should always respect these two countries. Of course, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia have a special place in the minds of all Muslim children. I have heard them singing “ Jihad, Jihad, everywhere, Saudi Arabia is the father and Pakistan is the mother”. United States of America, our worst enemy claims that Pakistan and Saudi Arabia are its closest allies in the war against terror. Wow, how thrilling! It is better to be a Muslim than being an American as it is better not to have a brain than having a brain and not using it.

My husband was once caught by the police, but thanks to the democratic system that exists in my country. Congress and communist leaders came rushing in to save my husband. They somehow forced the police to let him free even without registering a case against him. Recently, a bullet from the police hit my husband’s leg. Now he is planning to retire from jihad and become a mullah. In the past, the practice was that mullahs became jihadi leaders at the end of their career, but today the practice is that jihadis become mullahs at the end of their career. My husband tells me that mullahs have the “holy license” to lead a luxurious life sucking the blood of common Muslims. That means I can lead a luxurious life along with my husband, his three other wives (I call them co-wives) and our army of children. Our children are also very happy about it (I did not mention the total number of children because I have not counted them till date). My husband knows nothing other than loving Islam, giving hate speeches and killing civilians. Naturally, becoming a mullah becomes his only choice after retirement. He has never even seen the gate of a school or a college. Schools are places where it is taught that earth is round! How stupid! It has been stated in Qur’an that earth is flat. Just by looking down itself one can understand that the earth is flat. The additional organ called brain is really spoiling the Kafirs. In schools, some other stupidities are also taught, like, “theory of evolution” and “solar system”. According to Qur’an, all the human beings are made of dirt. Sun rises from the mud and sets in the mud. So why are schools wasting time teaching “theory of evolution” and “solar system”? I am really tired of these Kafirs.

Mullahs teach the Muslim community the real science called “Miracles of Islam”. Some people who are hesitant in respecting mullahs argue that according to true Islam, mullahs have no place in the religion. But being Allah’s brothers, Mullahs voluntarily came forward to help Allah in establishing his laws of the land. Allah-mullah duo works with great coordination, even better than Ronaldo-Ronaldinjho duo for achieving their goals. I don’t know what Allah gets by establishing his law on the land, but I know exactly what mullahs get. Mullahs attain high social status, political strength as well as economic power through helping Allah. Wow, three birds in one shot! There is no wonder why mullahs came forward to help their brother Allah. Kafirs can’t understand what a common Muslim gains by letting mullahs suck our blood and eat away our freedom. Some of them even say that mullahs lead a ‘shameless’ life by exploiting ordinary Muslim masses. Mullahs are never doing anything ‘shameless’. If a prostitute lives by selling her body, what is wrong in a mullah living by selling his religion?

My husband as well as my brothers can’t live without my assistance. I give them new ideas everyday, be it killing civilians or smuggling drugs. Still I consider myself a less intelligent compared to them just because A.T.M.M has told that we women are less intelligent compared to men. After my death, even if I reach heaven, I well get nothing as nothing is available for a woman in the heaven. But, my husband will get 72 houris with swelling boobs and large eyes. Anyway, I am really afraid of hellfire. I can’t even imagine myself getting burnt in hellfire. I always carry a fire extinguisher along with me so that if I die and reach hell, I can save myself from A.T.M.M’s punishment “hellfire”. We Muslims are ready to turn the whole world into a bloody hell in order to save ourselves from going to hell. Kafirs have no other choice than going to hell according to our great religion. I know why Kafirs never make it to heaven. They have an evil organ in the body, BRAIN. What is this stupid organ all about? It is really making me curious. Is it possible to buy a brain from somewhere? I want to live with a brain just for one day. I just want to know what this thinking process is. I want to know why I would question Qur’an as well as Allah-mullah duo’s supremacy, if I have a brain. Where can I buy a brain? Even if I live with a brain for one day, I may not reach heaven. But I know the solution. With a brain I can THINK and find out some way of reaching heaven without Allah-mullah duo’s knowledge. So I want a brain just for one day.

Where can I buy a brain?